


The Stranger Next to Me

by captain zayn (heythereboobear)



Category: One Direction (Band)
Genre: M/M, trigger warning for drugs
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-05-10
Updated: 2015-05-10
Packaged: 2018-03-29 22:02:02
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 946
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3912211
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/heythereboobear/pseuds/captain%20zayn
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Liam is strong, until he's not.</p>
            </blockquote>





	The Stranger Next to Me

**Author's Note:**

> This is like two years old and it was based off a prompt on tumblr that asked for Ziam where Liam becomes addicted to drugs and I just found this so I decided to post it, why not. The title is from Jimmy Eat World's "The Drugs or Me"

Liam was the definition of the perfect friend. He was sensible, he had a good head on his shoulders and knew exactly how to keep everyone else on track. Liam was the band’s rock, their protector. Rarely was he found without a smile on his face, healthy and happy, always.

He was such a strong minded and strong willed man, he was the shoulder to cry on, the one who could rise above the hate and ignore it. He would even thank the fans for their support; tell them he loved them, even if every second mention he got was telling him that he had put on some weight. He never let the hate get to him and encouraged the boys to ignore it too, to believe in themselves, love themselves. In the process, he kind of made Zayn fall in love with him instead.

Liam was an amazing singer; there were no words for the way his falsetto made Zayn feel. The way he could hold a note and use his voice to display his emotions blew Zayn away. When Liam sung, he gave people goose bumps, his voice was so raw and powerful, even his shower singing had the ability to melt Zayn’s heart with no trouble at all.

No one can stay strong forever. There’s a point where you just have to let your walls down.

Zayn watched as the hate finally got to Liam, as it derailed him, pushed him off his track. Liam could no longer keep himself and the others from drowning, so in typical Liam style, he chose to keep the boys up, no second thought for his own wellbeing. As Liam started to love himself less and less, thanks to the pressure and the criticism that finally became too much, Zayn loved him more and more, hoping that it would be enough. Liam became smaller and Zayn tried desperately to shelter him through it.

When Liam turned to drugs, Zayn felt so lost. He didn’t know how to protect him anymore, how could he protect Liam from himself? He told Zayn that it was better when he was high. The hate faded away and he could rise above it, didn’t press on him and make it hard for him to breath anymore. He could breathe so much better through a joint, that’s what he said again and again. If that’s all it was, Zayn wouldn’t have worried so much, but he knew there was more than that.

Zayn watched as the love of his life became less and less like Liam and more and more like a stranger. Someone that Zayn could barely recognise, slowly killing himself.

Zayn never expected One Direction to fall apart. Not like this, nothing like this. Liam chose drugs over the boys, he couldn’t even get himself up for their shows anymore, wouldn’t answer even the most simple questions in their interviews. Niall left first, unable to watch Liam’s self-destruction up close.

Liam's voice sounded different. Zayn didn't like the way Liam said his name anymore, it sounded like a stranger was moaning his name, when Liam was sober enough to make love to him. His eyes changed, too. They looked distant, Zayn missed the way they looked at him like he was the most beautiful thing on the planet but he hadn't seen the light in his eyes for weeks. Zayn couldn’t look at him any longer without wanting to be sick. His Liam didn’t look like this man in front of him; his Liam was full of life, with that big smile and open arms.

Zayn was the only one left, the only one that held out hope that Liam could get better. The one that would plead with him to get some help, to let Zayn fix him. He begged him to let their love be enough; they didn’t have to pretend anymore. It wasn’t enough though, Liam was too far gone. Eventually Zayn left him, he’d tried to last but it was too much. Liam wasn’t there anymore; there was only a shell of a man left.

The call two weeks later was unexpected, the call that would turn Liam from an is to a was.

Liam begged for Zayn’s forgiveness, apologised for everything he had done, everything he had ruined. Zayn could hear a hint of the old Liam in his voice and he had never been happier to hear that voice. The call lasted hours and left Zayn in tears as he spoke with Liam about how he missed him and their life together. Hearing Liam say those things back to him gave him hope that this was it, and that they could fix him now.

See Zayn didn’t know that Liam was going to take himself from Zayn’s present and force himself into Zayn’s past. Zayn thought he was changing, he thought it was going to get better, but when Liam finally managed to put a smile on his face, Liam was silent.

-

Liam Payne, he was the boy that taught Zayn how to love, but also showed him what it felt like to be completely ripped apart, because Liam couldn’t love Zayn more than the drugs.

Zayn thought more people would at Liam's funeral. He realized that drugs did more than just kill Liam. If Zayn closed his eyes, he could imagine everyone there, the people they both used to love. He could imagine Liam standing in front of him, that crinkly eyed smile on his face as he held Zayn’s hands. He pretended for one second that Liam was Liam, and Liam was here with Zayn.

And if he tried hard enough, Liam was.

**Author's Note:**

> This isn't beta'd so all mistakes are my own. I will probably be rewriting some old fics and posting them here later so let me know what you think maybe?


End file.
